How To Make Good Decisions When In A Conflict

Inspirational Stories: How To Make Decisions When We Are Caught In A Conflict With Someone Close?

I how to make good decisionsgot an inspiration from a statue while walking on the streets one day after I had a heated discussion and conflict (later which we found out is a miscommunication) with my partner.  We were in disagreement and stoped at a point when we were too fired up to make a decision one way or the other. So time-out it is.  I’m glad I took a walk and cleared my mind – important reminder when attempting to make good decisions when in conflict with someone, especially one very close to you.  This is what I learnt…

During the timeout, walking in the city, I came across this huge statue of a man sitting and looking downwards (picture on the right), looks like he’s thinking about something hard, pretty much what I was at the present moment.  I became aware of my own thoughts in my conflict situation, questions started to pop up – what is it that makes me so agitated in this situation? what is my being that is manifesting this situation? what could be the possibility that would make us arrive at an amiable decision? Not what I think others should do but what is in my power to effect change.

Still staring at the statue… suddenly I got an aha moment, an inspiration that he could be looking downwards at his heart for an answer.  All of a sudden my heavy mind just sank to a relaxed mode, my heart took over – I could literally feel an energy zooming downwards from my mind to my heart, my heart got warm and heavy – heavy with loving emotions.  What I want is a loving outcome, to make a decision that is supporting our loving relationship. And the immediate step comes clearly to me – to release the tension first of all and reframe my thoughts with loving energy.  Right away, it was like an open channel has opened up infront of me – several possibilities flashed across my eyes and mind.  Ideas and possible actions came into my thoughts – I could suggest this and that… I could just take one step first and then… etc.  Suddenly I don’t feel the “stucked” moments I had earlier on.

I continue the walk back home with this energy, by the time I got home, the tension was half gone..  I opened the door without any expectation or judgement.  Without jumping back into the matter right away, I mind my own matters for the remaining day. Perhaps my partner had noticed it, well I’m sure he must have felt the energy shift.  We did not talk on the same topic until a couple days later, he sat me down and we had a better communication this time – only to discover the deeper stories of where we were coming from, resolved the miscommunication and conflict, both from a loving and “open to grow” standpoint.

Once again I practiced, when in a conflict, make decisions from a place in your heart, not the head.  And to do that, you’d need to “shift the energy state” from conflict and tension to awareness and clarity. You will very soon find that all the tension mostly has been ego in the head, perceived limiting beliefs. And when it comes from the heart, it guides you each step closer to an amiable outcome, even though the outcome may not be clear in the beginning, eventually you get to the good decision, for both 🙂

how to make good decisions a real life inspiration

It also helps to shift the mindset by reading an affirmation of loving treatment – here is one from Louise Hay. (I have this printed on my wall 🙂

LOVING TREATMENT

Deep at the centre of my being there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.

It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.

The more love I use and give, the more I have to give, the supply is endless.

The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.

Yes, I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body.

I lovingly feed it nourishing food and beverages.

I lovingly groom it and dress it and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself, therefore I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.

I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself, therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses all my talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and love me, and earning a good income.

I love myself, therefore, I behave in a loving way to all people for I know that that which I give out returns to me multiplied.

I only attract loving people in my world for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself, therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.

I love myself, therefore I love totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright, and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.

And so it is.

 

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2 Comments
  1. You write so honestly about this. Thanks for sharing!

    • thank you Cayle, I believe in sharing my learnings and through them inspire people to face challenges in life in terms of growth, instead of pain. Come back and visit my page often, there’s always something new 🙂

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