How to get yourself out of a negative experience … and back to motivated!

How do you get motivated out of a negative experience?

Maybe you’ve noticed I haven’t been posting much lately here, well this month has been much of a re-learning and learning experience.  The negative experiences and challenges in life push one much forward in life if, you choose to experience and learn from it, rather than get suck into reacting to the experiences.  When we can be a “watcher” of it, we can then feel more empowered to positive motivation for change.

So the story was … I received some criticisms about what I do, about how I connect it with my soul and being. To me, a negative feedback is when someone has experienced your service or work and then felt it was not up to their expectation, criticisms is placing judgement without truly knowing much about a person. Usually I let criticisms pass over, but this time, it made me ponder – do I truly believe in what they said or have I been clearly expressing who I am? Are they speaking through their tainted glasses and if so, why do I react?

Swimming in the Negative Vicious Thoughts…

Like anyone could be, I found myself swimming in the negative experience, thoughts of doubting myself and unable to clearly stood up to what I believe in. I felt confused, injustice, what they said is not the real me, and then yet, what can I strongly stand up to what I believe in? I was defensive, then I pulled back to self doubt again, running a vicious cycle indeed!

Reminding myself of being a “watcher” I started to gain peace in my heart by “pulling myself”  out of the “pool” where I was swimming in. I watched myself how I felt what I was feeling, what I was behaving and then started asking why – what were the doubts about, why do I feel this way. By asking my ego to take a backseat, and be open to hear these feedback and words non judgementally, I gained respect both for the people who are going through their life experiences through me and also respect for myself.  Moving beyond just what they said and how I feel, I work on what is within me, what is my truth and how I want to then move forward and act on this truth.

Act on our truth

Through the process of clarifying my within, I gained insight with the outside. And in life, when we are open to change, the events are aligned to make it happen – I was invited to speak about my life in another event, and I used this opportunity to express my new found identity, my experience of how I want to live the new change in my life – that is, to share firmly my truth, my being, my connectedness with people, and respecting all others have their own experience and opinions, and mine in this life of learning and growing. 

I would summarise my experience in these three steps on how to get back into positive flow to embrace change in life:

Step 1: Being a “Watcher” and snap out of the “swim” in the negative experience pool. 

By being a watcher, we are allowing ourselves a chance to intercept and snap out of the vicious cycle. This is also a form of being non-resistance – what we do not resist, we gain power to over come it. So allow yourself to flow with the thoughts and just watch them pass, and not saying all the “resisting words” – “I should not…” “I cannot…” “I should be…”.

Step 2: Work from within and find out what is truly you in this experience.

We all want to achieve something with an action. So long our actions are aligned with what we want to achieve, openly embrace the experience.  Do not doubt ourselves. Doubting is questioning our belief. When we doubt ourselves, ask instead, what do I truly believe in? Do I believe in it? Where are the evidence? What do I behave if I believe in it?

Write them down to clarify your thoughts – what are the thoughts, what are the behaviour, why, what if … and how to…

Step 3: Start acting on what you believe in… even in a very small action step. 

Action motivates us to move in the path we have chosen, every small step counts. I couldn’t stress enough, just how significant each small step can be, because each step is leading on and on to the path ahead. With the new found motivation to change, I start to speak out and express my new intention, and make plans of what would be me in the path ahead, all energised from my inner truth.

Motivation from the Lotus

I relate this experience with the lotus flower in the pond, its petals radiating outward from a living central point. It seems to flow outward, like water, or like a thousand petals surging with life and renewing themselves while, at the same time, remaining utterly self-contained and at rest. To me, it’s shining our authenticity, our truth, and yet not being attached to experiences or person, so as to flow our life with ease.

The lotus rises through the murky waters of ponds and lakes yet,

when it blooms, it floats upon the surface,

its petals shining and untainted by the mud from which it emerged.

lotus emerging


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