Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway!
Many have read the book “Feel The Fear And Do It Away” by Susan Jeffers about how to move beyond the negative voices in our head. We all have fears, they are a natural occurence of our thoughts about our lives. It is not what they are but how we manage them, which will determine how our experiences are going to be. This week I had an inspiring experience having first met Huy Nguyen Quoc Anh, a Vietnamese student now living here in Finland, about how he has applied “feel the fear and just do it anyway” to his life, winning him the love of his life! 🙂
Huy has become aware of the voices in his head, sometimes encouraging him further, sometimes nagging him. He sees them as “good fears” and “bad fears”. This is how he defines what is good fear and what is bad fear:
Good fears are basically your gut instinct telling you to do or not do something which is essential for survival. This has been established for millions of years as a part of evolution.
Bad fears, on the other hand, are mind-made. They do not protect you from anything, but rather stopping you from taking important action. Though they are mind-made, they are equally real as good fears or any other emotion. You cannot deny them by telling yourself “I have no fear” and by doing that, make them disappear. It does not work like that. You will have to face them, accept that they exist in you, but do not give them the power to stop you from taking action. That is what I mean by “accept the fear and do it anyway”
Through Huy’s experience, one of the bad fears would be the fear of rejection. So what did he do when he was faced with such a fear? One day he was in a local club and saw in a distance, a very beautiful blond lady with blue eyes. What went on in his head, the “voices” as he recalled to me was that, the thought that this beautiful lady would have eaten him up if he would walk over to talk to her! The fear was so great perhaps literally!
So Feel The Fear and How Do We Do It?
Firstly, Feeling the fear – literally.
Feel it coming from the gut, or elsewhere in your body. Most people say they have fear, but immediately “run” away from the feeling and not want to dwell on it. It’s natural. But to cross this hurdle we just got to first acknowledge it, which is to actually feel it and be aware of it. This is exactly what Huy did – feel the fear, and next, he put the fear into a place in his mind – ok you are here, so what do I do next?
Secondly, Ask the right question – What If
At some point, we all have to make a decision – after you have faced the fear infront of you, ask instead “What If?” , what if I could be standing there on the stage, what if I could just talk to her, would I die? You’ll soon realise such fear is not real. Feels real but once you open up to the possibilities, the fear stays on its own path, you could be on the other path! Huy eventually walked ahead and chatted up with this lady. This is what he puts into practice – acknowledge the fear, don’t run away from it, make a decision to walk through it and uncover the what ifs.
You may be guessing now what happens to Huy and the beautiful lady? They are now happily living together. 🙂
Many artists, writers and actors face rejection and it can hurt emotionally. But then sometimes our fear of rejection keeps us from sharing our work with the world, sharing our lives with the world. The thing is, if we don’t open the door to fear and walk through it, we wouldn’t know what is behind that door. It may well be that the fear just vanished when you face up to it and ask “What are you doing in my life?”.
Do you have a fear about something and yet you have managed to walk through it? Share with us with the comments here. It will inspire another to feel the fear and do it anyway!
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